Dan’s Holiday Tale

Ever wonder what it’s like to live at the North Pole? Let me share a few things with you.

Santa is a very busy man who likes to relax in his garden. He will spend hours at a time working the soil. His favorite activity to relieve the stress of his job is to hoe, hoe, hoe so he can grow his favorite flowers, the bearded iris and winter pansy. He also grows vegetables using a cold frame. He, himself prefers snow peas but also grows Rudolph’s favorite vegetable, red beets.

After speaking of Rudy, what an interesting character he is. Not many people know that he is quite a business deer. Seeing a real need, he now operates a garden center. As a young buck, Rudy was always out in the tundra getting his hooves dirty. While the other reindeer were out playing their games, he was home studying. He, like me, earned his “B.S.” degree from Shippensburg, which he chose over Texas Tech and Colgate. (All are “Red Raiders”)

Upon graduation, he returned home to open the No Seasons Garden Center. After only a few short years and with many glowing reviews, it was named “The Best Garden Center North of the Arctic Circle” by The Gnome Gazette. The G.G. says “It will be a cold day in January before you find a better garden center.”

While Rudy carries as many varieties as possible for Zone 25, he likes to accommodate his customer’s desires, so he stocks the elves’ favorite shrub, the Alberta Spruce and Santa’s favorite tree, the Snow Fountain Cherry. Although it takes work, grass will grow and so No Seasons carries the owner’s choice of creeping red fescue, winter wheat & rye cover crop seed, as well as Yukon Gold and Red Norland seed potatoes.

Rudy has become so successful that he has become partners with Santa in both the North Pole Toy Factory and the Underground Coal Mine (for the not so good kids.) They have been working together to upgrade the facilities and working conditions for the elves. A free lunch of cold cuts is now provided daily. Wages have been increased by 5 chocolate coins/hr. and child care is provided at the local Branch of Little People Day Care.

Santa and Rudy would like to grow their market but with only one shipping date per year it will be a real challenge. Free overnight delivery will still be offered.

Speaking of Santa, he has become too set in his ways, which upsets Mrs. Claus. She would prefer to vacation somewhere other than the Christmas Islands every year. She appreciates that Santa will make breakfast for her, but does he really have to serve her cookies and milk every day? Even the local residents are growing weary of always being asked by him if they would like an eskimo pie for dessert.

There are many more interesting things about life at the North Pole I could share with you. However as the big day draws near, we must all focus on the job at hand.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,


Herbein’s Lawn Care Elf